Thoughts on Loss

… Time will ease your pain
Life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same

How can I help you to say goodbye
It's okay to hurt, and it's okay to cry
Come, let me hold you and I will try
How can I help you to say goodbye

(c) 1993 Warner/Chappell Music

Loss is hard. Always has been and always will be. When we lose someone, their suffering ends but ours is just beginning. We know that they would not want us to be sad, but it is an unavoidable reality. It is even possible to feel grief over a situation that involves a loss that isn’t supremely personal. In a weird “seven degrees of Kevin Bacon” phenomenon, even if you never personally knew the deceased, your heart can still go out to those close to you that are affected by their passing.

Grief is an emotion that nobody should be left to wrestle with alone. It truly takes a village. I’m sure everybody thinks of the traditional sending of flowers, or making of meals for a family that has lost someone. For me, I am 1800 miles away from those who need me most. Flowers and a casserole just aren’t going to cut it. I’ve struggled with not being able to be there for those I care about most that need a comforting hug or a cuddle buddy to watch chick flicks with under a fluffy blanket with hot chocolate. I’m beginning to learn, however, that being there for those we love doesn’t always mean physically being present.

There are many ways that we can support those going through a hard time. Phone calls, Skyping, or even a nice hand-written letter take time and commitment that show you care. Those that are hurting understand if we cannot be there for them, and appreciate even the smallest of gestures that says “I’m thinking of you; hang in there.”

Life isn’t always fair. Sometimes we do not have the capacity to do exactly what we’d like to do in order to show our love for others. This is when we must trust in Heavenly Father to take care of those we love by asking him to do so through prayers. Sometimes life not only gives us lemons, but pelts us in the head with them. Once we can grow past being angry at how unfair and hurtful this is, we can see that if we didn’t get pelted with lemons once in a while, we’d not be quite as appreciative of the showers of glitter and rainbows.

Peace and Love,
Amy